End of The Year (Free Choice)

So it is finally the end of the school year, which means the countdown to graduation is beginning to come down to the wire and I have a whole bunch of emotions going through my head. For the most part, I am extremely excited to have been accepted to University at Albany!! I am so anxious to figure out how the school will be for me. The fact that I never visited the school before has me even more nervous than I should be. Just recently, I applied for housing at U'Albany and found my roommate. She's pretty cool and just going through that process has me going nuts.

Although I am so excited to leave TMA and see what U'Alb
any is like, I am still not ready to let go from TMA. Just the other day as prom ended, it suddenly hit me and I realized most of the people I was used to seeing every single day for about 5 years, I won't be seeing their faces anymore. Even the faces I barely had conversations with. It is a very sad moment to think that all of it is soon over. Sometimes when I am at home just contemplating, I frequently ask myself, am I truly ready to move on to college, and without any hesitation I immediately say yes but I wonder, how will I ever know I am ready for college. Like is there a day that you just wake up and say "I am ready to go to college?"  I guess I'll have to find out.

Overall, I will miss so many things about TMA but the one thing I will most definitely miss the most would be Kenny Estevez. He's been such a huge part of my life and it is truly going to be the hardest thing I will have to do as a teenager to finally leave him. It hurts an incredible amount to have to leave a best friend and lover you've met since 7th grade, but I am positive the universe has amazing things ahead of us that will all be worth it in the end.

With that being said, I just wanna say I am grateful to have been a TMA Panther, however, its time for me to become a U'Albany Dane!

I Love Math! (Passion Blog)

Over the past few months, I've managed to learn something new about myself. I love math. When I began to get really high grades in math effortlessly, I realized how talented I was in math. The way math stimulates my brain and makes me think of many possibilities is extremely fun to me. I love being faced with a challenge and having the “aha” moment when you finally find the answer. This same skill I use in math has taken me so far in my own social life and that is why I think I love math now.

However, Math for me is like a roller coaster. There are some moments when I feel completely confident about it and then other times I feel extremely discouraged. So I hope that I don't have to take back what I said earlier.

Apart from being a subject I enjoy, It has taught me many things that I don't only use in math class, but also on a daily basis. Like calculating the Sine of a basketball or solving the function for x as h approaches 0. All essential life skills needed for my survival. (Just Kidding), but on a serious note math has extremely improved my critical thinking skills. It has helped me think harder when faced with any challenge and it has given me the strength to not give up so easily.

Many people take advantage of math and complain about how we learn to solve math problems we won’t ever see again after we graduate, but I beg to differ. Math is everywhere, you just have to look closely.

AP Literature exam (CRR)

Currently this week we have been practicing for our AP Literature exam since the test is coming up in a few weeks. At the beginning of class, the aim read "what skills will you need for the AP exam?". As everyone gave their responses, I realized how pathetic the whole grading system for AP exams is. How does someone's ability to perform a task quickly measure whether or not they have mastered a college level class? It's ridiculous how short the amount of time that we are given actually is. Three hours for 60 multiple choice and three very complex essays. Sadly this is the only way to prove your worth.

Anyhow, that day we practiced developing ideas from essay prompts given on previous AP exams. This actually really gave me a lot of tips on what ways to approach all three essays. I believe that when I am doing timed writings, I constantly over think all my ideas in hopes to develop the most intellectual essay, however, this only causes me to lose tons of time. I noticed that when we were practicing on developing essay ideas, the responses were really straightforward and did not require much over thinking as I always do.

Overall, I am so glad Ms. Hegeman took two entire class periods to practice developing ideas with us because it really put things into perspective and made me realize that sometimes I should work smarter not harder. Finally, no matter what grade I get on this AP exam, I will be happy with it because I know deep down inside that no exam can accurately measure whether or not I mastered a college level class.

Red Convertible (FW)

We are finally in our last High School semester, however, like many topics, senior graduation is one of those emotional moments I've tried long and hard to keep shoved and hidden deep in my thoughts. I don't want to think about it! It's such a bitter sweet moment because all my years prior to graduation I've gone through each dreaded class praying for school to be over and now its slowly approaching and I don't even wanna grow up anymore. I usually don't allow myself to think too deeply about life after college because I know how much of an emotional wreck I am, but writing my feelings down feel less depressing. 

These past few months have raised many questions. What college should I go to? could I afford these schools? would I like it? The decision I will be making in a month or so, is a decision that could practically rule over my future. The hardest part for me has been choosing out of the pool of schools that have accepted me. I am  afraid of choosing the wrong school and ending up miserable and homesick. However, my thirst to dive in to the unknown is stronger than my pessimistic thoughts.

Another topic that saddens me is leaving behind family, friends and the one guy I hold dear to my heart. I mean I obviously intend to visit my family and friends, but leaving behind a significant other seems pretty difficult right now although  possible. It's like you go through all your years of high school imagining some type of "teenage sweetheart" love story (like that of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw's) that would continue after high school, but then senior year comes and reality smacks you HARD in the face, or maybe that was just my mom, but whatever the case, you begin to lose faith in most of the dreams you once had because you have to think "realistic". Dreams of dying your hair red and driving a red convertible car and moving to Chicago and changing your name to Natasha, all of which were dreams of an 8 year old Jaylene unaware of the limitations life had already set out to stop her. And I know you're thinking, well you still can do all of those things like dye my hair or move to Chicago, but other dreams and ideas have taken the place of those now foolish wishes.

Timed Writing (CRR)

Today in AP Literature we did a timed writing sample from an AP Literature exam. The prompt was to read a passage from a novel and analyze the figurative language the author used. For some reason I was surprisingly energetic and actually got my ideas down for this prompt. I think it was because I got great news that Ms. Lall was going to be absent but mostly because the passage was very interesting which helped me engage with the text.

What interested me the most about the text was that the whole entire passage was so descriptive. The passage was about a guy who was in a sledding race and was trying to make the finish line. Never once did the author say those words but somehow, anyone would visualize this image. I admired how the author was able to appeal to most of my senses by using fixed details on how the character felt. All throughout the passage I was able to feel this sense of urgency once the character approached the finish line. I felt like I was watching the climax to a movie and I was preparing to jump out of my seat.
Even though this text was just a passage from a test, I chose to write about this because I admire pieces of writing that make you feel something or actually have the capability to strip you of your attention to the world for a moment and makes the reader literally apart of their text.

 In order for a person to actually be able to feel this emotion from reading a book, however, they must find a book that would compliment their interests or beliefs. The main reason why people dislike reading is because they can't quite make that connection, or that link with their own thoughts. Forget about the fact that sometimes the text may be hard because if it is discussing something in particular that you are interested in, the words would just begin to make sense.

Khan Academy's JavaScript Coding

So in Ms. Rios' class we are starting a new project in which we sign onto Khan Academy and learn how to do coding/programming. When Ms. Rios first introduced it to us, I immediately took it for granted. I imagined it being very boring and complicated. However, when i began watching the videos and started learning the basics i began to enjoy myself way more than expected.

So far I have learned how to create circles, rectangles, squares, and lines. I've also had the chance to get a bit creative by adding coloring to the images I create. Yesterday, I was challenged to make a dinner plate using coding. It was pretty difficult because I had to include three shapes onto my image. All in all, the challenge was very hands-on and interactive, which was particularly entertaining for me.

Programming lesson on making a dinner plate. 

Throughout the whole programming process, I've realized that math is a huge element involved with programming. Many people take math for granted and always say, "when will I need to know this in real life". Well truth is, we use math in our everyday lives one way or another. Learning how to program and code has given me more of an appreciation for mathematics and has shown me one of its many purposes. 

My Christmas Break

After much convincing, I began to watch the TV show called Breaking Bad on Netflix. I never would give it a chance when people would encourage me to watch it. However, once I watched the first episode, I was immediately hooked. I could not believe how addicting a TV show could be. I fell in love with the story line and the way the director revealed each character and how most episodes began with a scene that foreshadowed a future conflict or plot. Every single episode kept me on my toes with brand-new drama and strife. This is how I spent my entire Christmas Break.

My Christmas break was pretty boring. I didn't get out of my house much for many reasons, two of which: 1. I have no friends and 2. "I'm the laziest girl on earth" as my mother would say. My Christmas break gained much excitement when I finally decided to start the Breaking Bad series. Just for the record this TV show has already ended on live TV and it is 5 seasons long; 12-15 episodes each: 45-50 minutes for each episode. So if you do the math, you could only imagine how much time I had dedicated to this show. I definitely do not want to spoil it for anyone, so I deciding not to give a summary, however, I will give a small description of what I loved most.
All throughout the show, the director focused on the main characters physical and mental transformation. This technique aroused both a very sympathetic reaction and a ashamed reaction to this newly transformed main character who is a completely different person. Even though, the show ended in a more positive light in which I could once again understand and feel sympathetic towards the decisions of the main character.

Enough with my constant bragging about this award winning show, go try it out for yourself !

MEDICINE

Today I want to describe what profession I aspire to pursue in college and what began this passion for science. I am most interested in Forensic Science. The career I plan on pursuing when I am older is Forensic Pathology. 

Ever since I can remember, the human body has fascinated me. Our bodies are way more complex than meets the eye. What astounds me the most is the fact that our bodies are constantly fighting off a wide range of intruders in order to keep us alive. The mere fact that we have the ability to breathe, walk, talk and think all because of the different sections and organs in our bodies. My striving fascination of the human body has influenced me to choose a career that discovers what disrupts our bodies daily function. In Forensic Pathology I would be able to work in a legal-medical field that uses science to identify how a person died or how the person was killed.

It all started when I entered the Mentoring in Medicine program in TMA that I was finally exposed to possible health careers. In that class we would dissect baby pigs, learn how to suture on a pigs foot, and explore ligaments and tendons on a chicken leg. It was exactly what science classes look like on TV. One of the events that affected me the most was when we went on a trip to an anatomy lab at Touro Medical College. It put all the systems I had studied into perspective. At first it was pretty nerve-racking, however, my nervousness quickly went away once I put on those gloves and began to explore the organs of a deceased person.

Ultimately Mentoring in Medicine has served a great impact on my choice of major. I am almost 100% sure I would want to pursue a medical career.

Feminism

As we were handed our syllabus during the first week of school, I could not help but flip through the pages to see exactly what topics we would be covering this year in English. As I skimmed through it, the word Feminism immediately caught my attention. The word was one that had been jumping around in my head for the past few months and I was extremely eager to find out how the unit would turn out to be. To be honest, It was nothing I expected. Maybe it was because I couldn't make the connection or probably I did not put much effort into reading the books thoroughly. Whichever one it was, I did not receive what I really wanted from these texts; a definition. I wanted clarity or better understanding of what feminism really is and what is so important about it.It was only until the mere end of the unit that my expectations were met. a couple of days before Christmas break, Cheyenne suggested we watch a Ted Talks video on feminism which was of a speech done by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian novelist and short-story writer. In her speech, she eloquently described how she had first became a feminist. What I love the most about her speech is that she clarifies what her definition of feminist is. "My own definition of feminist is: a feminist is a man or woman who says: 'Yes, these's a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it. We must do better' " She turns the dictionary's' definition into her own and points out that a feminist doesn't necessarily have to only be a woman, but a man as well.

Ultimately, what I got out of this video is that it is very important to be aware; Alert and aware about issues that we all believe have been corrected, because in actuality these issues are reoccurring and still exist today. Whether the issue is sexism, racism, or discrimination of any sort, we must all be aware of their existence. It's better to know than to ignore. 

Outside TMA

Human Biology classroom at City College.

As many may know, I work immediately after school at the TMA lower school. I also take college classes on Saturday mornings from 9:00am - 1:20pm at City College through a program called College Now. When I began both the job and the college courses, I never thought much of it besides getting paid and having a good looking college application. However, both my job and college class have offered me a whole new realm compared to the one I live in TMA. They both require a great amount of responsibility and self teaching. These opportunities have ultimately given me the upper hand when it comes to tackling rigorous classes such as AP Biology. As a result,  I've become more independent in my studies, and enhanced my leadership skills.

I started taking college courses at city college about 2 years ago. The first course I took was Criminal Justice. My experience there gave me a taste of how college classes would be like. The teachers were less lenient and straightforward. They would hand you a syllabus the first day of class, which would display all the dates and topics to be covered every week. The syllabus basically outlined the entire class and all the required assignments which were pretty much three test or quizzes (depending on the type of class) I found it very difficult to juggle college classes and regular school work, but I still tried my best. (by 'trying my best' I mean procrastinating all week up until Friday night where I would try to cram a weeks worth of studying for Saturday morning.)
The commute from school to work is such a hassle; the bus never arrives on time. Therefore every single day I have to speed walk a distance of about 20 blocks. Many times I have contemplated quitting my job. I never get enough to for homework or even spare time to finish up college applications. Then one day as I entered my job tirelessly, I was greeted by 10 swarming bodies that were happy to see me. I was surprised (well I wasn't that suprised because I knew what an awesome after school counselor I was). But seeing how much my kids appreciated me, warmed my heart up so much. Now despite the struggle to get to work on time, it has become the best part of my day.


All in all, I am glad and blessed to have experienced these moments. They have only helped me with my transition to adulthood. Unknowingly, they have made me a a very independent student who has learned how to self teach herself. I have learned to appreciate these extracurriculars for more than just pretty words on my college applications

"Reaching Back to Move Forward"

This past Saturday I attended a SNMA Region 9 conference that was held in Albany Medical School with some medical program called MSI AHEC. During this conference, I, as well as around 75 other students(high school, undergraduate, graduate, and medical students) were able to participate in a day full of workshops, tours and lectures. The workshops that were set up for us were very distinct. There were some workshops that gave a lesson on how to suture, and other workshops which focused primarily on an high school audience and gave helpful tips on filling out FAFSA.

We also received a tour on Albany Medical school. During this tour we were able to see one of the many lecture halls which houses 125 students per class. The thought of so many students in one class was overwhelming to me. Later during the tour, the kind tour guide showed us the “hangout room” for all of the medical students. It seemed pretty cozy and comforting. The tour guide began to tell us about how much time she devotes to studying for her classes. She said that on average she spends from 8am to 8pm studying because the test in her class are every two weeks. She warned us that she does not have a social life ever since she’s enrolled to medical school. This immediately started a riot in my brain. Would I be able to handle such a studious life these upcoming 8 years of my life? On top of that, all those long years of schooling only to end up in a heap of debt. At that moment I felt like all my plans prior to that day had been crushed. I no longer felt as if I would be able to make it.

During the conclusion of our trip, we all headed to one of the Lecture halls to receive a lecture from a very inspirational man named Doctor Adam Aponte. Dr. Aponte stood in front of a projection that read “ Reaching back to move forward”. During his lecture he explained to us his life story and his journey into becoming a Pediatrician. He grew up in East Harlem with his Puerto Rican family. Ever since he was younger, he would always tell his parents he wanted to become a doctor. However, many doubted him and did not believe an underprivileged kid from East Harlem would be able to become a doctor. He told us that there will always be people trying to divert you from your dream career but you have to prove them wrong. He then said that after we become successful, we must never forget where we came from. Being able to inspire and advise your community is one way of making a change. This ultimately touched me. I never really noticed how important it is to actually remember where you come from. Being able to give even the slightest advice or help to someone in need can really change their life around.

After such a horrible day that had appeared to crush my whole vision, Dr. Aponte’s speech brought peace to my mind again. So what if I have to spend the next 10yrs under a rock. So what if I might not have a social life. All that matters is that I will be fulfilling a field that I am most passionate about and that’s helping others.

ID

Last Thursday in Participation in Government, I presented to the entire class my assigned Supreme Court case, which was Good News Club v. Milford Central School. I actually enjoyed researching this case.
The case was primarily about a dispute between whether or not a private religious program should be allowed to use Milford Central school’s facilities after school. Milford Central school denied the Club from using its facilities because they feared that by allowing the Club to use it’s facilities they were violating the Establishment Clause. The school also believed that the Club was clearly trying to convert younger kids into Christianity.
The Club believed that the school was simply violating their 1st and 4th amendment, which protected their freedom of speech and their equal protection under the law. They also argued that the Club’s purpose is not to convert children into Christianity but to guide and teach the kids into good morals.
Ultimately, after the very long process that moved up to the Supreme Court, the final verdict was for Good News Club. This case set a precedent that now allows religious programs to use school facilities without discrimination.
As I read more about the Good News Club, I realized how similar this organization is to Yogi Bear, which is also a program that promotes Christianity typically in project areas. This reminded me of when I used to attend this “event” of some sorts every Friday, right downstairs from the projects I live in. They would always award the children with some type of candy or item that would serve as an incentive to praise a god, that these younger kids were not able to make sense of yet. After making the connection between Good News Club and Yogi Bear,the purpose of these groups seemed so wrong to me. It’s as if our children are the indigenous people of America and these religious groups are the colonist; imperializing and stripping our youth from making sense of the world on their own.

My First Love

I vaguely remember those moments when my step father would take me to church on a Sunday morning. I was about 5 years old. I would take the best naps on his lap throughout the pastor's whole sermon. However, I would always awaken to the sound of the pianist playing the same song my mother blasted on Saturday mornings, when she did her daily cleaning. I am not quite sure what had gotten in to me, but I would always courageously volunteer to go up to the podium and sing in front of a small group of enthusiastic believers. Singing gave me a feeling that was unexplainable. It gave me  a rush I had been unfamiliar with. It was the same type of rush you feel when you fall in love for the first time and you feel the butterflies kicking in. Singing was my first love.

As I grew older, I began to lose my courage. I became extremely shy, as entering school was something new to me. It wasn't until middle school that I stepped out of my comfort zone. I volunteered to sing Long Distance by Brandy for the TMA Fashion Show in 2010. Only this time it wasn't in-front of a small group of church folks, but an audience of nearly 200 people. My music teacher helped guide me through my performance. She eased some of the nervousness I had. When the day of the show came, chills ran through my body. As the host introduced my name I took a deep breathe and that's how it all began. The first 5 seconds of the song I was forcing each and every syllable out because stage fright had began to creep up on me. Suddenly, I stopped focusing on how I sounded and began to focus on the actual words I was reciting. I began to feel each word and I began to live each word and that's, when I became lost in the music. It was just me on that stage. I was at home, with a brush in one hand where my microphone once was, and I'm singing my heart out.
Singing is my passion and it is the one thing I am most confident about. It gives me this escape where I can express myself in a melodic and clever way. I would not be the same person I am today without it.

CRR

These first weeks of classes have been totally new for me. Juggling work and school is certainly something I'm not used to. There is no organization in my life. I can't keep track of when homework is due and that has been my major problem. I even almost forgot about this assignment as well.
To be strictly honest, I hate grammar rules. Don't get me wrong, I actually enjoy AP Literature, but all these intricate rules and details to grammar is very hard to get used to. I find myself struggling a lot with grammar rules.

Also, I have basically procrastinated the whole summer work packet. It taunts me every damn day, knowing that I still haven't gotten over with it. While I attempted to complete the assignment, there were moments where I was completely interested in the poems but then as I got to the RA's, I immediately became discouraged and began to refuse to complete it. This is still a working progress.

On the bright side, I really enjoyed the article "How Does A Poem Mean". I admired its comparison to the baseball players in the Bronx. I honestly just wished that more people in the class would have taken that article seriously because it gave a lot of persuasive points, in my opinion, that would have most likely sparked someones interest in writing. One productive thing that we did this week in class was that we made note cards that represented a different book on one side and on the other side we wrote down important things to consider such as archetypes, symbols and themes. At first I thought it was just a regular assignment but than I realized this would be extremely helpful when studying for the AP Literature exam. On the exam, there is an essay prompt that asks you to write about a book your read this year. The only tricky thing though, is that in order for you to get a good grade on that essay, the book you talk about must be at a high reading level. I believe that by May, our class would be familiar with a ton of challenging books.

Happily Ever After

Once upon a time, there was this girl who lived in her own imaginary realm. This realm was filled with glistening snow and a huge forest filled with tons of trees that led to a path she was unfamiliar with. Everyday she would pass by the same Forest with bursting curiosity of what was on the other side. Until one day she gained the courage to step foot into that mysterious land. As she slowly entered, she noticed a huge dark hole that was centered in the middle of all the tall trees. She took a step. Then another. Then a few more until her last step was a narrow edge from the dark abyss. Before she knew it she was falling. Falling into this unknown dark hole that had seemed to suck her in deeper. It was completely dark and all she could feel was the air rushing through her hair as she kept falling. She was so scared she tightly shut her eyes and hoped for the best. Suddenly she no longer felt as if she was falling. She quickly opened her eyes to this new realm where everything seemed so green and fructuous. She allowed herself to briefly examine this foreign territory. She noticed how different things were on this Greenland compared to her cozy white place she called home, but for some strange reason she began to love this new land she had found, that held truth, nourishment and hope. She refused to ever go back to that old shiny place again. So for the rest of her life she made Greenland her new home and she lived happily ever after.

If you're wondering why I began my introduction like this, it's because; 1. I'm really into fairy tales. 2. I wanted to be extra and describe myself through a fairy tale and 3. I REALLY like fairy tales.

In my short (or long) anecdote, as you might have guessed, I am the the girl in the story. The changes this girl goes through are similar to my personal changes in life. Her original homeland which is described as white and shiny would describe me when I was young innocent and naive. Then, her being tempted to explore the Forest, which is usually filled with wild creatures, represents my strong curiosity and courage in taking my first step. As the girl fell down the dark hole, she was scared. This in my life, represents how at first I believed I had done the wrong things by exploring out of my comfort zone or by being exposed to differing ideals and perspectives than my own. Finally, The Greenland represented a place in which I have come to my own beliefs and perspectives, that holds truth, comfort and hope that my curiosity actually led me to the truth rather than lies. So there you have it. My life in about 484 words.